Light is Gone
by GemiDonnie
Summary: He couldn't watch the sun go down anymore. So he imagined, and hoped. - Raph/Mikey, slash. SAINW.


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**Written for DatingWally.**

**Warnings: Turtlecest, curse words, SAINW, descriptions of violence. **  
**Pairing: Raph/Mikey.**

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The moon would be rising; the sun would be going to sleep.

Heavy breath would come out in the form of small clouds.

The moon's glow would be a sick grey because of the dirty sky; the sun's light a dull red because of the heavy air.  
Or maybe the moon's shine would be like silver water in the air, and the sun a bright golden mass of heat.  
He would look at the sky.

And smile.

It was such a nice fantasy, to be outside again.  
To feel the wind, dirty or clean, to see the moon and the sun, to leap across the roofs together with his brothers.

Ever since he lost his arm, _he could still feel it, he was just unable to see it_, he had begun to imagine the world again.  
It was as if by having the scientists remove it, they woke him up.  
Made his soul beat again, made it live and imagine and create awesome fantasies.

Michelangelo had been captured.

Normally, it wasn't a big deal. His brothers always found him, just as he always found them.  
And for the first few days, he had pictured Leo sneaking into the building, swords sharp and glinting, eyes just as cold and sharp as he slashed his way through the guards.  
He had imagined Donnie hacking into the computers, and maybe assassinate some of the humans, the way he had begun to do now that the times were growing harsher.  
But most of all, he wanted to see Raph barging into the building, snarling and growling, sais used like claws.  
Maybe pick him up _because there is no way he can walk_ and carry him out of this place like Prince Charming.  
Mikey had giggled at the thought.

But they didn't show up.  
Only the scientists did, and they examined him, operated on him _thick bandages wrapped around his arm and plastron_ and eventually, took his arm.  
They called him "_Mutated Turtle, 01, Property of US Government_."

He **hated** them.

Mikey looked down at his arm. He moved it, and imagined that he could see it move too.  
Donnie had mentioned it once, about ghost-limbs. That even when you lose an arm, you can still feel it.  
_I got my own ghost_, he couldn't help thinking. Smug, despite himself.

Mikey had been tortured, opened up. Violated in every way except the sexual, had been locked up in a cage _or something like it but with thick, white walls and a door like the one in the prisons_, and he had been drugged numerable times.

But the thing he missed the most was talking.

He didn't dare to talk here.  
If the humans found out that he was intelligent-

_"Mikey talks, we don't call _him _intelligent!"_

-enough to talk, then what would happen? More tests? Company in the form of his brothers?  
Mercy?

It was tempting. But he didn't want to have their company in here, he didn't want more tests and if they gave him mercy he would be forced to forgive them.

He screamed.

It was a sudden desire, so he did it. Screamed and screamed and screamed.

Maybe they would hear him if he kept doing it.  
Maybe he would get out of here, away from these humans.

_He would never be able to look at Casey, April and Angel without fear again._

Maybe Leo would give him tea and spoil him and let him off training.  
Maybe Donnie would build him an awesome arm and download his favorite movies.

The sounds of feet running towards his cage reached his ears, but he kept screaming.  
He wanted OUT. He didn't want to be here anymore! He wanted to get out of this fucking cage and its black nothingness and- and-

Maybe Raph would hug him and whack him and give him his old comics. Maybe buy new ones.  
Maybe he would growl and open up the scientists' stomachs. Maybe he would take their heads.  
Maybe he would let Mikey sleep with him, despite the nightmares and girly screaming.

-and he wanted RAPH.

Suddenly light filled the cage.  
He kept screaming.  
A voice cursed and ran towards him, and hands shook him.  
They felt odd. Not as warm as humans' hands did.  
Mikey stopped screaming, and looked at the reality for real this time.  
And he saw a golden sun filled with heat.

But it was the wrong heat, and there was supposed to be **two** suns.

"Raph?" he heard himself whimper, his voice scratchy because it had been way too long since he last spoke, and he really didn't care if he acted like a baby now, and he couldn't hear anything but Raph's voice. He couldn't hear the answer, the words. Could only hear that wonderful, grumpy, grumbling, growling and angry-soft voice.

But it was still the wrong heat.

"-ook your arm! I'm gonna-"  
"Where is your eye?"

Raph was silent then, just a little, and Mikey used that to cling to him, the way he used to do before when he wanted attention and love and get his way.

"It's gone, Mike." The hothead finally mumbled.

There was still something wrong.  
Mikey wiped his eye when he started crying, but he used the wrong hand. The ghost one.  
He did it again with his other one.

"Where is Donnie? And Leo? 'Cauze we can't g-get out of here without help, can we? They might take us again! They might take more and do more and I don't want them to and-"

He was rambling and he didn't care.  
He wanted Raph to keep holding him and stroke his shell, he wanted Donnie to explain how he would build a new arm, wanted Leo to hover over him like a guilty bird or something.  
But most of all he wanted out and he wanted his family.  
Raph said something.  
Mikey couldn't believe it.

"Donnie is gone. I… I'm gonna call Leo now, alright?"

That couldn't be true.  
Donnie was supposed to download his movies and joke with him and roll his eyes and patch him and build him a new arm.

Mikey screamed again.

Even as Raph desperately kissed him to silence him, he kept screaming.

He wanted Prince Charming, not bad news! Raph couldn't DO this! He couldn't! He couldn't be one-eyed! He couldn't come here and be hateful instead of angry-soft like a tiger! Because Mikey needed his family nice and whole and-

And Leo had scars. Horrible scars.

Mikey's soul died again.

And Raph couldn't pull him out of it.


End file.
